If there’s one rule you should always follow in your life, no questions asked, it’s to never settle. Why waste your time on fake love? Why dig yourself in a deeper hole day after day, trying to pull apart the person in front of you and find the tiny pieces they’re made of that actually take your breath away?
Why try to convince yourself that you feel fireworks when you kiss if you don’t even feel butterflies in the moments leading up to it? Why stay with someone, day in and day out, if you know they’re not exactly what you want?
You deserve more than feeling like hanging out with your significant other is a chore. You deserve the racing heart, the butterfly-filled stomach, and the tingles down your spine when you lock eyes from across the room. You deserve the love shared between Ali and Noah, but cut out the part where Ali almost marries another man because that’s exactly what you don’t want. Ali was settling, and you don’t need to settle. You deserve the type of relationship where you stay up until the sunrise, drinking wine, playing video games, and eating take out…so why spend the time making those memories with someone your heart can’t learn to love?
You can’t force a relationship. You can’t force love. You can’t force the tingles, the butterflies, or the goosebumps, even down to the very last one.
You can’t change someone. You can’t only love them when you’re drunk and lonely. You can’t only think they’re the one when others make you lose all hope in love. You can’t turn them into someone they’re not, someone you want them to be.
What you can do though is realize what you deserve. Realize what you want. Realize what you’re looking for. Get picky – you deserve it. Make a list of requirements you’d like your significant other to have – you deserve it. Don’t knock things off your list because you feel like you’re running out of time in life. There’s no calendar that says what age you should be married at. No law that says if you haven’t found love at a certain time, you’re not allowed to keep looking. If your friends are getting married, buying houses, and having kids, that’s okay. They’re doing things on their own time, and there’s no rush to have things figured out.
If you don’t feel lightning in your bones, don’t stay. Don’t try to force the feelings. Don’t convince yourself of the tingles and goosebumps and butterflies if there aren’t any.
You deserve the type of love that keeps you up at night because their arm is around you and you don’t want to drift off into sleep and forget how their touch feels. You deserve the type of love where they’ll watch your favorite movie with you because they know you’ll recite every line and they love to hear your voice, rather than get annoyed by it.
Jay waited years for Daisy. No party, no amount of money, and no woman made him feel the way Daisy did. Be Jay Gatsby. Find someone that puts lightning in your bones, hold them tight, and let everyone else go.