I Need You To Promise To Hold On To Me

Im just starting to discover me, while I discover us. Im a beginner in all of this. I dont know how to be. And I dont know how you want me to be. Dont tell me to just be myself you can count on it that I will not masquerade as anyone else. Im not afraid of you seeing who I am if you dont like me, then I know Im meant for somebody else. But I will admit I am afraid of showing you too soon. Im afraid. Because youre the first one who hasnt left. People leave; and thats okay. Sometimes theyre just not meant to go the full distance with you. Sometimes, you have to fly solo. Sometimes, they will point you away from where theyre headed, and into your right direction. And youll thank them much, much later.

Just hold on.

Hold on to me.

There are times when I want to grab your face with both of my hands and kiss the hell out of you. But I dont. I cant seem to make my body do what my heart is feeding it. My lips now touch yours with much more thought and caution than they did before. Because I didnt really care then. I guess what Im saying is that now I do. I do care. I want to keep kissing you. And I want you to keep kissing me.

When you reach for my hand, you hold it with your heart. I can feel it. And I love that. But it also makes me nervous. Im nervous to touch you, because my hands are so very new to this. Im nervous that I might do it wrong. Or that I might do it too right, and make you want more than I can give you right now. I want to feel like I can be naked with you, in every sense of the word. I want you to know that I that. Know that I really do want that.

Please hold on.

Hold on to me, because Im a little unsteady.

There are also times when I am so very unsure. They say that when its right, you wont have to question are they the one?, because youll just But we? Is that the truth? Does anyone ever really know? Because I sure as hell dont. I promised myself I would never be a girl who settled for a mediocre kind of love. They say its about loving someones flaws. Loving someone because they are a painting of beautifully unique imperfections. But when do you finally hear that their heart is the one that beats in harmony with yours?

Just hold on.

Hold on to me.

Cos Im a little unsteady.

I want you to feel like home. Thats all I really want. I want to feel safe with you. I want it to be thundering it down with storms of rain all around us, and to be encircled in your arms, and not really notice or mind about all the rain. When its dark out, and were walking home, I want you to pull me in a little closer to you, and to know that youve got me. I want us to feel like family. The way I felt as a kid in my house growing up. No matter how hard of a day I had, I would step through that garden green door, and it was all okay for a little while at least. Until the next day when I had to walk back out again. Because through that door, Id find people who I could count on for anything. A pep talk before a really big day. People who would listen to me, even when I was being melodramatic or whiney. A caring hand to wipe away my runaway tears. People who would always have my back, no matter what. Someone to say goodnight to; and someone to greet in the morning. People who I knew loved me; for ever and for always.

Will you love me like that? Thats all I really need to know. Because I promise to never love you any less than that.

I will be your home.

Hold on to me. Because right now, Im a little unsteady.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/shani-jayawardena/2016/06/i-need-you-to-promise-to-hold-on-to-me/