I Loved You With My Whole Heart, But Its Time To Let You Go

I loved you. I loved you beyond words.

Sometimes it felt as though I loved you more than I loved myself. However, maybe that was the problem.

I should never have put you first when you couldnt even put you first. I should never have put you first when you couldnt put me first.

I put up with so much. I put up with everything you threw my way. I put up with the sh** storm of emotions you forced me to deal with because you couldnt learn to feel and accept emotion yourself.

I put up with the back and forth, the highs, the lows, the what are wes, the are we ever getting back together, I put up with it all.

But I did it for you. I did it for you hoping and wanting and wishing and truly believing that the story ended with you and me.

I am closing the door to the fighting.

I am closing the door to the blaming.

I am closing the door to the hurtful words.

I am closing the door to the emotional abuse.

I am closing the door to the back and forth.

I am closing the door to the mind games.

I am closing the door to the rollercoaster that has been you and me.

I cant put myself through this anymore. I cant let you destroy me anymore. I cant allow the love I have for you to cloud my judgment as to the person that you are.

I cant keep fighting for you without you fighting back. I cant keep waiting around for you to be the person that I have always hoped and wished you could be.

And I most certainly cant keep being there when you call. I cant keep being there when you realized you have made a mistake and that Im the one you want.

I cant keep getting sucked back into your chaos and destruction. I cant keep going back knowing the outcome is always going to be the same. It always ends with me left hurt and alone.

I cant let you do this to me anymore.

I cant be a part of this sick game. It is time to get my life back. It is time to be strong. It is time to find happiness that doesnt involve you.

I loved you with everything in me, my whole heart, but it is time to close this door for good.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/christie-lynn/2016/11/i-loved-you-with-my-whole-heart-but-its-time-to-let-you-go/