Breakups are always tough.
Hurt feelings, resentment, and unhappiness just come with the territory. But while you may not be able to control those feelings of heartbreak and sadness, there is something you can do to help yourself heal and move on — avoid doing these 23 things during a breakup.
1. Don’t forget the practical things. Does your ex have your passwords, keys, or other possessions? Make a plan to recover those things and go through with it, says expert Toni Coleman.
2. Don’t try to punish your ex. It won’t take away your hurt or make you feel better. In fact, it’ll probably make you feel worse.
3. Don’t consider getting back together for several weeks. “When folks bounce back and forth, in and out of relationships, it is usually a sign that they don’t want to be in the relationship but have wrong reasons for remaining,” Coleman says. “For instance, they might have a fear of being alone or a fear of loneliness.”
5. Don’t worry about mutual friends. Experts say friends should be a non-factor in breakups. If they take your ex’s side, they aren’t your real friends, anyway.
7. Don’t lead them on. Avoid phrases like “I need some space” or “I just need some time.” Give it to them straight when you’re breaking up.
9. Don’t stalk them on social media. According to Lisa Steadman, another relationship expert, you should completely purge them from your social media circle.
11. Don’t compare yourself to their new love interest. Comparing yourself to whoever your ex chooses after you will only make you feel worse or make it harder for you to move on.
13. Take care of yourself. The best thing you can do during breakup depression is work out, cook a healthy meal, or do other things you enjoy.
15. Don’t immediately try to be friends. Newman says you both need to “fully separate and move past the pain of the split.”
17. Don’t abandon your social life. Friends can be extremely helpful and comforting in the time after a break-up.
19. Don’t hang on to their stuff. Keeping your ex’s old things will just remind you of them and stop you from moving on.
21. Don’t listen to your special song with the other person. Stop reminding yourself of the relationship you just ended.
23. Don’t read old texts or listen to old messages. As previously stated, they’re just a reminder of the relationship you ended.